The funniest Hogwarts pranks: ranked
最搞笑的霍格沃茨恶作剧排名
译者：小初初

Fred & George Weasley, Peeves, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Lee Jordan, Hagrid and even Malfoy, all made it onto this list of Hogwarts pranksters. But what was the funniest prank of all time?
弗雷德和乔治·韦斯莱，皮皮鬼，金妮·韦斯莱，赫敏·格兰杰，李·乔丹，海格，甚至马尔福，都登上了霍格沃茨恶作剧者的名单。但有史以来最有趣的恶作剧是什么？

10 – Custard cream confusion
Coming in at number ten, it’s that time Fred and George “forgot” that they’d hexed the custard creams and made them into their signature Canary Creams. Poor Neville turned into a large canary, moulted and then joined in laughing with everyone else. Canary Creams: only seven Sickles each – a bargain of a prank!
10–奶油冻混淆
排在第十位的是弗雷德和乔治，那时候他们“忘了”把奶油冻撕成了他们招牌的金丝雀奶油。可怜的纳威变成一只大金丝雀，脱掉衣服，然后和其他人一起开始大笑。金丝雀奶油：每个只要七个西可——一个恶作剧的便宜货！

9 – The duplicitous duel
Now, we know Harry, Ron and Hermione didn’t find this prank particularly funny, but we can’t be biased against Malfoy’s pranking ability, just because he was in Slytherin now, can we? At number nine, it’s the time Malfoy managed to convince Harry and Ron that he and Crabbe would meet them in the trophy room at midnight for a duel. Harry and Ron definitely became less gullible as the years went on, or was it more that they became best friends with Hermione? Hmm...
9-口是心非的决斗
现在，我们知道哈利，罗恩和赫敏并不觉得这个恶作剧特别有趣，但我们不能因为马尔福现在在斯莱特林就对他恶作剧的能力有偏见，对吧？在第九，这是马尔福设法说服哈利和罗恩，他和克拉布将在午夜在战利品室迎接他们决斗的时候。随着岁月的流逝，哈利和罗恩显然变得不那么容易受骗了，或者是因为和赫敏成为了最好的朋友？嗯……

8 – A chocolate cake conspiracy
At number eight is the time Hermione Granger filled two chocolate cakes with ‘a simple Sleeping Draught’ to knock out Crabbe and Goyle. Harry and Ron needed their hair for the Polyjuice Potion that would allow the trio to investigate whether Malfoy was the heir of Slytherin. Okay, so Hermione wasn’t necessarily doing it for a laugh but we have to admit, using food as bait for the greedy duo made us chuckle.
8-巧克力蛋糕阴谋
在第八位，赫敏·格兰杰用“简单的安眠药”填满了两块巧克力蛋糕，使克拉布和高尔昏迷。哈利和罗恩需要用他们的头发来配制复方汤剂，这样三人就可以调查马尔福是否是斯莱特林的继承人。好吧，赫敏这样做不一定是为了搞笑，但我们必须承认，用食物作为诱饵，贪婪的二人组让我们笑了。

7 – Naughty Nifflers
Coming in at number seven is Lee Jordan and his hilarious prank on Professor Umbridge. After Fred and George’s departure from Hogwarts, they apparently left him a couple of Nifflers. Inspired by his absent friends and general hatred for Umbridge, Lee decided to levitate them ‘in through her window’. Just imagine how much chaos those Nifflers caused… Well done, Lee Jordan. Well done, indeed!
7-淘气的俏皮话
排在第七位的是李乔丹和他对乌姆里奇教授的搞笑恶作剧。弗雷德和乔治离开霍格沃茨后，他们显然给他留下了几个小把戏。受他离开的朋友和对乌姆里奇的普遍仇恨的鼓舞，李决定“从她的窗户”把他们放进去。想象一下那些东西造成了多大的混乱…干得好，李乔丹。干得好，真的！

6 – Signed photograph silliness
Hagrid sneaks into our top six, with the time he pranked Harry over signed photographs. After a mix-up involving Colin Creevey’s camera, Malfoy, and Lockhart, there was some confusion over whether Harry was or wasn’t giving out signed photographs of himself. Hagrid joined in with the joke when he teased Harry: ‘gotta bone ter pick with yeh. I’ve heard you’ve bin givin’ out signed photos. How come I haven’t got one?’ Hagrid was only pulling his leg, but it made Harry furious!
6-愚蠢的签名照片
海格偷偷进入了我们的前六名，当时他在签名照片上恶搞哈利。在科林·克里维的相机、马尔福和洛克哈特的照片被搞混之后，人们对哈利分发他自己的签名照片产生了一些困惑。海格也加入了这个笑话，他取笑哈利说：“我得跟你好好谈谈。我听说你正在分签名照片。为什么我没收到呢？“海格只是在拉他的腿，但这让哈利大发雷霆！

5 – The swamp that stuck around
At number five, it’s Fred and George Weasley with that time they turned a fifth-floor corridor at Hogwarts into a swamp. And then when they made their firework-filled exit from school, they left no instructions on how to get rid of it, which infuriated Professor Umbridge no end. Even better, this swamp had an official name: a Portable Swamp, which you could buy at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. Fred and George really knew how to spread the prankster love. 
5–周围的沼泽
排在第五位的是弗雷德和乔治·韦斯莱，当时他们把霍格沃茨五楼的走廊变成了一片沼泽。然后当他们离开学校时，他们没有留下任何关于如何清除沼泽的提示，这激怒了乌姆里奇教授。更好的是，这个沼泽有一个官方名称：便携式沼泽，你可以在韦斯莱的搞笑玩具店买到。弗雷德和乔治真的很知道如何赢得恶作剧者的喜爱。

4 – The tall-tale of a tattoo
Swooping into number four is Ginny’s prank on Romilda Vane. In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Romilda asked Ginny whether it was true that Harry had a Hippogriff tattooed across his chest. Ginny’s response? She told Romilda it was a Hungarian Horntail. And even better? She said Ron had a Pygmy Puff. Ginny Weasley – queen of the witty comeback.
4–纹身的故事
跳进第四名是金妮对罗米达·万恩的恶作剧。在《哈利波特与混血王子》中，罗米达问金妮，哈利胸前纹了一只河马，这是否属实。金妮的反应是什么？她告诉罗米达那是匈牙利树蜂。接下来？她说罗恩纹了侏儒蒲。金妮·韦斯莱——机智女王附体。

3 – Exit, pursued by a poltergeist
Peeves the poltergeist was always going to make it onto this list, and we reckon this prank very much deserves its place in the top three. This is the time when Umbridge tried to make a quiet exit from Hogwarts after her horrifying reign. Instead of letting her sneak off, Peeves ‘chased her gleefully from the premises whacking her alternately with a walking stick and a sock full of chalk’. And the best thing? The walking stick belonged to Professor McGonagall and she seemed completely fine about Peeves borrowing it…
3-退出并被一个恶作剧者追赶
皮皮鬼这个恶作剧家总是会登上这个榜单，我们认为这个恶作剧绝对可以在前三名中占有一席之地。这是乌姆里奇在可怕的统治之后试图从霍格沃茨安静地退出的时候。皮耶夫斯没有让她溜走，而是“兴高采烈地把她从房里赶出来，用拐杖和一只装满粉笔的袜子交替地打她”。最棒的是？这根手杖是麦格教授的，她似乎完全可以借用它…

2 – The longest tongue twister
Let’s be honest, Fred and George Weasley weren’t going to let the opportunity of visiting Privet Drive pass without pranking Dudley Dursley. In second place is the time the twins “accidentally” dropped one of their Ton-Tongue Toffees on the floor at the Dursleys, and Dudley’s tongue grew to four-foot long before Arthur Weasley was able to shrink it. Arthur was very angry with his sons, but we can’t help but see their side – Dudley probably did deserve it.
2-最长的舌头
老实说，弗雷德和乔治·韦斯莱是不会放过参观女贞路的机会而不恶作剧达利·德思礼的。排在第二位的是这对双胞胎“不小心”把他们接近一吨重的舌头太妃糖掉在了德思礼家的地板上，而达利的舌头长到了四英尺长，亚瑟·韦斯莱才把它缩了下来。亚瑟很生儿子们的气，但我们不得不说——达利可能是罪有应得。

1 – Going out with a bang
And the number one spot goes to none other than the Weasley twins, for one of the most elaborate and explosive pranks ever to grace the halls of Hogwarts. Fred and George’s Wildfire Whiz-bangs included dragons soaring up and down the corridors, shocking-pink Catherine wheels, rockets, exploding firecrackers and of course that wonderful self-writing sparkler ‘resolutely spelling out the word ‘POO’. But it wasn’t just that the fireworks were magnificently disruptive – whenever Umbridge tried to get rid of them, it would make things worse. Ingenious. Wizard hats off to the prankster kings!
1-砰的一声出去
排在第一位的莫过于韦斯莱双胞胎，这是霍格沃茨大厅有史以来最精心、最具爆发力的恶作剧之一。弗雷德和乔治的火龙在走廊上飞来飞去，令人震惊的粉色凯瑟琳轮子，火箭，爆炸的鞭炮，当然还有那美妙的自我书写火花“坚决地拼出了‘噗’这个词”。但这不仅仅是因为烟花具有巨大的破坏性——每当乌姆里奇试图除掉它们时，它会让事情变得更糟。巫师应该向恶作剧之王致敬！

译者：小初初